I'm Back! Hi!

Jesus, I feel like I'm recovering from withdrawal -- over an entire week without LiveJournal or any computer access!  You guys have no idea how much I've missed you all, and could've used your advice.

Last Sunday I started making the drive from Wyoming to Maryland for my three-month course in military journalism.  The first day I made it from Cheyenne, WY to Omaha, NE in eight hours, and spent the night with a long, hot shower and a Law & Order: SVU marathon.  The next day I made the seven-hour drive from there to Chicago, IL, where I planned to spend the next 2-3 days catching up with family and LJ friends.

Then I received the news that my little brother had been shot.  He had the night off from work, and was hanging out on a corner with some friends, and a drive-by sent a bullet right into his lung, centimeters away from his heart.  So just a few hours after giving my mom a happy hug hello, I'm holding her hand in the emergency room waiting area, trying not to wonder if I've arrived home just in time for a funeral.  We received news of the shooting sometime past 11 p.m.; around 6 a.m. the next day the doctors tell us he came through the surgery like a champion.  I was caught somewhere between enormous relief for my family, and guilt; I was beating myself up because in the course of 24 hours I'd dared to doze off for about five minutes, right before the doctor came out with the good news.  I know I really felt guilty because my brother and I are like strangers; sibling rivalries that we never resolved and all.  Talk about a fucking wake-up call to both of us; the chance to mend things with him is not guaranteed to me, and unlimited time to get his shit together and get himself off street corners in the middle of the night isn't guaranteed to anybody, particularly young black men in America.  He's not in a gang, but nowadays does it really matter?  It didn't protect him that night.

Anyway, I spent all of my time in Chicago in the Intensive Care Unit, watching my baby brother breathe through a ventilator and eat through tubes.  He was at least opening his eyes in response to his name before I hit the road again Thursday, which was very hard to do.  I split the final eleven hours between Thursday and Friday, and reported in at Fort Meade Army Base Friday afternoon.  As I drove into Maryland, the air felt more humid, the grass and trees were greener -- hell, it's a change from Wyoming to see grass and trees!  It just smells and feels like things grow here, you know?

This will be a pretty intense class, and if I make it I'll graduate November 30th.  I've just been informed that after this I'm heading to Sheppard Air Force Base in Wichita Falls, Texas.  I'm so sorry, hanarobi .  I wish I had a say in this.  You are the one and only reason I'd want to go back to Wyoming, and you're reason enough for me to want to stay.  On the other hand, won't I be closer to vshendria  now?

Anyway, that's it from this end.  Except to say I talked to my brother on the phone the other day.  Yes, the tubes are out, and he's interacting fully with his visitors.  I told him I love him, possibly for the first time in years.  It was indescribably... indescribable... to hear him say it back.