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The Kink That Winked

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Vacation and Birthday, both Marred by Mother-In-Law [27 Jul 2015|08:32pm]
[ mood | tense and wary ]

I will be spending the second week of August in Florida visiting my mom. My pregnant sister has also recently moved down there, along with her daughter who is the same age as my son, and of course my grandmother is living down there, too. So my son is coming with me so he can see his little cousin, and I’m going to spend some time with four generations of the women in my family tree: Grandma, Mom, me and my sister, and my little niece. Heck, maybe my soon-to-be nephew will be born while I’m there.

But this trip will be different - Cut for MIL DramaCollapse )

5 comments|post comment

Are all college students this idle during break? [19 Jul 2015|11:10pm]
[ mood | idle ]

I have officially spent too much time at that site creating Disneyesque merpeople.

You know the one I made of myself yesterday? Now I've imagined what my/her parents would look like.

Mermaid-Scene-by-AzaleasDolls3

And, because the SPN fan in me couldn"t resist, here"s Sam and DeanCollapse )

I can't wait to see the mermen the rest of you come up with, but I think I need to step away from the computer now, and brush up on my Spanish for the coming semester, or clean my kitchen, or sleep, or something else vaguely productive. :)

7 comments|post comment

Mermaid Avatar Psychology [19 Jul 2015|12:02am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Ah, what the hell. I’m still awake, so I did this, and somehow it morphed into a miniature exercise in psychological insights.

Mermaid-by-AzaleasDolls

And here is where I overthink things ...Collapse )

17 comments|post comment

A Talk with My Son [09 Jul 2015|08:42pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Recently my son was looking at one of his The Cat in the Hat books, and he looked up at me and said, “This Nick looks different.” For anyone who’s unfamiliar with TCITH, he always interacts with a boy and a girl, Nick and Sally. What prompted my son’s comment is that in the classic books, Nick and Sally are brother and sister, and both white. In the animated show on PBS, Nick and Sally are neighbors, and Nick is black.

I’ve been thinking about how to talk to a child about race since the day I realized the white man I love would become my husband, and there’d probably be kids in our future. We’ve had the talk about how his dad and I have different skin colors, and how our son’s is somewhere in between, and we all love each other. He has friends of several races at school, and makes no distinction. Still, the comment caught me off guard. All I could think was to respond, “How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know,” he said, then, “I like the one on TV better.”

Along with relief (which I’m rather ashamed of) that he didn’t automatically think the white Nick was better, I was also worried. Was he rating people based on skin color, already? “Why?” I asked.

“Because he’s on TV, and I don’t have to read.”

Trying not to roll my eyes or laugh, and saving the lecture on how reading is important and can be fun for another time, I asked him if the two Nicks are different in any other way. Is one smarter than the other, or stronger, or faster? He said no.

“So, no matter what color his skin is, it doesn’t matter. They’re just the same, right?” I prompted, and he agreed.

The conversations about race will undoubtedly get more complicated and painful in later years, and I am not looking forward to the day he has to deal with kids who decide him being biracial is a problem (as if the ASD, ADD, and always being the tallest kid in his class didn’t already label him as ‘other’). But as long as he still understands that we're all the same, I think that talk went okay.

11 comments|post comment

By George, I Think I've Got It! [13 Jun 2015|05:28pm]
[ mood | inspired ]

As I'm sure you know, Father’s Day is coming up. Every year I ask my husband what he wants for this day (or his birthday, or our anniversary, or Christmas), and every year he says he can’t think of anything. Then after he opens the present, it suddenly occurs to him what he would have liked even better than what I bought. It drives me up the wall.

Well, this year I think I’m going to blow him away, because this year I’m going to make him a Chicago style deep dish pizza pie. The first time I took him to Chicago with me to meet my family, I also took him to Giordano’s and Pizzeria Uno, and over the years every trip to Chicago has included those two pit stops. With most of my immediate family now in Florida, we haven’t visited Chicago in years, but we’re always on the lookout for restaurants that claim to serve deep dish or gourmet pizza, though frankly none have even come close. My husband recently told me while reminiscing about Chicago pizza that I have ruined him for all other pizzas.

I don’t know why it took me so long to think of this, but I finally used Google to try and find some Chicago style pizza in San Antonio, and was surprised to find recipes and YouTube videos that make it look very possible to cook one all by myself. I guess I’ve always held these pizzas in such high regard it never occurred to me that a plain old housewife like me with no culinary school background could whip one up. It’s like finding out my favorite five-star Parisian restaurant dish is something I could create with just a few quick tips from the Food Network.

I don’t expect it to taste exactly the same – each restaurant has its secret ingredients, after all – but I do believe I’ll produce something close enough to impress him. Since I’ve never made any kind of pizza from scratch before in my life, I am a bit nervous. But all I have to do is follow the recipe, right?

Wish me luck next weekend!

BTW, if you're curious, here's the recipe I'm using: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2uGmk0kYC4

7 comments|post comment

The Good, The Bad, and The Noteworthy [24 May 2015|06:42pm]
[ mood | okay ]

I’ve gotten my final grades back for this semester, and I passed: A’s in English, Spanish, and American history, and a B in art history. I also made the Dean’s List! I now have two semesters left until I graduate, and now I get to finally take a creative writing class specializing in fiction. I’m nervous because I know I’m rusty, but I can’t wait get back into it. I also have to take a few more art classes, so next semester I’ll be taking photography. Man, I haven’t picked up a film camera, taken black & white pictures, and worked in a darkroom since the early 1990s, so you would think I’d be more nervous about this than writing fiction, but nope. I’m far more worried about my ability to turn out a good story, one with original characters and a plot that isn’t about an OTP finally getting it on – not that there’s anything wrong with that. :)

* * *

I have gained all of the weight back, because I can’t exercise. I’ve been dealing with the runner’s knees for years, and thought I’d found a way around it by powerwalking on the treadmill, but now my arches are falling, along with something called plantar fasciitis, or jogger's heel. Now I can’t run, climb stairs, bicycle, or even WALK hard enough to work up a sweat without causing further damage to myself … and I’d better be careful with upper body workouts because I pulled a rotator cuff in my shoulder months ago that still hasn’t healed … and in the meantime I’ve spent the last few days in bed with painkillers because my entire back seized up again from sneezing(!) really hard one day. My whole fucking body is falling apart! But if I don’t get up and burn some calories somehow, I’ll end up diabetic, which is a whole other monster of health problems. Goddammit.

* * *

My fifteenth wedding anniversary just passed. Most people would spend it in dressy clothes at an expensive restaurant, followed by splurging on romantic gifts. How did we spend it? Dropping our son off for a playdate so we could catch an early matinee of The Avengers sequel in 3-D, and we loved it! As for the evening, most people probably would have gotten a fancy hotel room and spent some time horizontal. Well, we were horizontal, in a dusty, cobwebby storage space underneath our house. Thunderstorms have been hitting Texas rather hard lately, and our base actually ended up under a tornado warning last night. At least I had a flashlight and a paperback, while he had his cell phone so he could browse the Internet, and our son had his handheld Nintendo. We’re all fine, and I must admit it’s an anniversary I’ll never forget.

10 comments|post comment

Son of a Bitch [24 Apr 2015|06:07pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Anyone who’s read my previous posts here and here knows about my mother-in-law (MIL) and how I feel about her. Now she’s facing a medical crisis, and as much as I want to be supportive, it’s about to grow into a situation that could affect my entire family's life, including our financial stability, educations, and even our ability to enjoy our home.

Read more, if you want to know how much of a heartless bitch I can beCollapse )

6 comments|post comment

Weight Rant [04 Apr 2015|02:37pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

When I started this weight loss resolution, I was at 202 pounds. I’ve been steadily losing two pounds a month, and by the end of March I expected the scale to read 198. But in the past two weeks I’ve been hit with every obstacle imaginable short of a broken bone. I managed to sprain my shoulder, have my lower back seize up, catch a bad cold, and suffer a two-day migraine. So I’ve spent most of the last two weeks lying in a dark and quiet bedroom, doped up on muscle relaxants, painkillers, and cold meds.

Feeling better, I get on the scale today, and it gives me 203. Seriously, I managed to gain ALL of it back, plus one pound, from just two weeks of inactivity! I am so disgusted with myself I’m ready to quit. Maybe I’m destined to just carry this weight, since every attempt I make to get rid of it brings me right back here. Granted, all the other times I just gave up or overate, but this time I was doing everything right, so now all these random outside forces drag me back to square one?!

Maybe I'll feel calmer later, but right now ... fuck. Just fuck.

12 comments|post comment

The Time when I was Horny and Stupid [25 Mar 2015|08:33pm]
[ mood | embarrassed ]

You remember back in the day when they had this ancient thing called “porn tapes?” Videocassettes containing all your favorite skin flicks, all you had to do was pop it in the VCR while you were home alone, and have your fun. The only thing is, you had to retain enough brain cells even in the midst of your post-orgasmic haze to remember to remove the tape from the VCR and put it back in its hiding place. Otherwise a spouse or child would go to watch their favorite movie, wonder what that tape marked Lord of the G-Strings is about, and then next thing you knew you had a lot of explaining and apologizing to do.

No, I do not still have videotapes, but I do have another classic masturbatory aid, the Hitachi Magic Wand, the granddaddy of vibrators, still known for its sturdiness and reliability. I, er, utilized it today while my husband was out jogging and my son was at baseball practice. Then after a quick nap, I went to pick my son up, drop him off at home with my husband, then pick up my car from the mechanic.

I came back home to find my husband giving me the oddest look, like he didn’t know whether to lecture or laugh. “You left something on the bed,” he said. I go upstairs to find the laundry basket, loaded with dirty clothes even though it was empty earlier. I dig through the clothes, wondering if this is a subtle hint to do laundry, and there lying at the bottom of the pile was my Hitachi. According to my husband, it was right in the middle of the bed. I hadn’t even unplugged it.

Ooooops.

I can only be grateful my son didn’t see it, though I do have the "back and shoulder massager" excuse handy. I don’t think my husband’s gonna buy that, though.

*facepalm*

11 comments|post comment

I'm not sure where I'm screwing up, but ... [24 Mar 2015|04:24pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I think I’m making one of my teachers uncomfortable, but I’m not sure why.

Our history teacher wanted us to turn in three book reports this semester, and on the first one I scored very low. I’m to blame for that because I took shortcuts, and they rightly dinged me on every one. Still, as an English major, to be told I did a bad job at writing a paper sort of stuck in my craw.

So I not only wrote the next paper while following the rules to the letter, but I also wrote it nearly a week ahead of schedule. Then I e-mailed it to my teacher as a rough draft and asked him to advise me on whether the paper met his requirements, and if there was anything I could do to make it better before the due date.

He said that isn’t something he normally does. He doesn’t want to start a trend of hundreds of students expecting him to help them revise and tweak their papers. Of course, he also said if anyone had any questions about their papers, don’t hesitate to ask, but apparently he just meant general questions he could answer in class, and then the student is on their own.

The way I see it, it’s not like I’m asking him to help me write it. He has to be the only teacher I’ve ever met who doesn’t encourage what I’m doing. Every English teacher I’ve ever had has looked at me like I was a godsend or something when I handed in a very early rough draft, asked what I could do to make it easier for them to read, and then gladly did it. Now if we were talking about making him wade through some hundred-page master’s thesis, then I could see his point, but we’re talking exactly two sheets of double-spaced text, here.

How can he be a stickler for us getting these assignments right, then hesitate to help someone who's going above and beyond trying to do just that? Is there some aspect of his point of view that I’m missing?

19 comments|post comment

Musical Meme [08 Mar 2015|04:54pm]
Yes, I have homework to do, but I liked the idea of exhausting my knowledge of Beatles songs, so I made time for this.

Rules: Using only song titles from ONE artist/band, cleverly answer all these questions.

Pick your artist: The Beatles

Are you male or female? She’s a Woman
Describe yourself: Paperback Writer
Describe where you currently live: The Fool on the Hill
If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Strawberry Fields Forever
Your favorite mode of transportation: Drive My Car
Your best friend is: Your Mother Should Know
You and your best friends are: Magical Mystery Tour
What’s the weather like? Rain
Favorite time of day: Good Night
If your life was a TV show, what would the title be? I Should Have Known Better
What is life to you? Good Day Sunshine
Your relationship: I Want to Hold Your Hand
Your fear: I’m a Loser
14 comments|post comment

It's a Bird, It's a Plane ... It's the Guy I Love All to Pieces [07 Mar 2015|03:15pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Today we were driving on base and parked in front of the Youth Center. In the window was a huge arts and crafts project, a floor-to-ceiling papier-mâché statue of Superman. His back was to us, but of course I could still see the long, red cape and bright blue arm sleeves.

"Is that Superman?" I asked my husband.

He didn't look at the Youth Center, or out the front or back windshields. He didn't look left or right down the street. He leaned his head out the window and looked UP INTO THE SKY! And he KEPT looking up, tilting his head every which way and squinting. "Where?" he finally asked me.

The way he blushed and laughed at himself and admitted it never even crossed his mind to look for Superman anywhere else is something I'll never forget.

Can I just say how much I love my husband for still being such a fanboy and big kid at heart that his very first instinct, even as a grown man, was to check the skies for his childhood hero? Is it weird that stuff like this makes me love him even more?

Eh, if it is strange, screw it. It works for us. :)

tumblr_mfz1qgHJJR1ryqizyo1_400
15 comments|post comment

For Those More Educated and Experienced than Me [05 Mar 2015|01:36pm]
[ mood | curious ]

What is your definition of a pansexual?

I thought it was someone who doesn't factor orientation or gender into their choice at all. The object of their desire could be hetero, homo, bi, asexual, male, female, transgender, intersex, genderfluid, and any race and ethnicity under the sun. I never thought of it in terms of me getting turned on by a particularly good drawing of Superman or the way Elijah Wood looked in full hobbit makeup.

But if I'm reading Tailsteak right, possibly myself and pretty much my entire friends list is pansexual, because it covers pretty much anything out of the "ordinary." Or does he simply segue into his own personal preferences, and admit that they could also fall under the pan umbrella? And if this is what pansexual means, then what does "queer" mean?

What do you think?

13 comments|post comment

I Hate FOX [06 Feb 2015|06:08pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Almost Human is out on DVD, and according to the people who’ve already bought it, it features, according to Amazon reviewers, “no menu to speak of, no option for subtitles/languages, and it would not play in my laptop.” Also, the episodes are out of order, just like the screwed up way they aired.

How many times has FOX done this, now? I believe Sliders was another one that got screwed over with FOX mixing up episodes on air and DVD, and just in case there’s any room left for doubt as to how stupid the people at FOX are, I have one word: Firefly.

For what it's worth, I think this is one of those sci-fi shows that’s so good you could buy it right now, without having seen a single episode before, and fall in love with it. The chemistry between the two leads leaps right off the screen (quite the feat when one of them is playing an android). Hell, even if you only check it out because you like Karl Urban, it’s worth it.

And yet, I don’t know if I’ll buy it. Why put money in FOX’s pocket, like I’m congratulating them for shitting on this show in every possible way, and telling FOX I’ll gladly settle for a hodgepodge DVD set when I should be watching the second season?!

Yeah, I’m still bitter, perhaps enough that I shouldn’t be making this post until I calm down, but we’re all fans here. Isn’t this how you feel when a fandom of yours gets treated like this?

BTW, for those who might buy it and want to watch the episodes:

In The Correct OrderCollapse )

3 comments|post comment

Random Post [02 Feb 2015|06:47pm]
[ mood | working ]

Weight loss, Shakespeare"s Othello, and a bit of SPN humor.Collapse )

12 comments|post comment

Adventures of a 40 Year-Old College Student: The Spring Semester [25 Jan 2015|11:03am]
[ mood | busy ]

This time around I’m taking Spanish II, American history, art history, and late Shakespeare.

I resent the American history class (which highlights events in Texas, of course) because I aced world history already, but I guess that’s not patriotic enough for Texas State. Spanish is the hardest of the four, but I can do it. I can’t tell yet if art history will be very interesting or dry as hell – the material is fascinating, but the lectures could easily put anyone who doesn’t love art right to sleep.

I can tell already I’m going to love the Shakespeare class. I’ve always liked Shakespeare (once I figure out what the heck he’s saying), and with the right teacher I can understand the nuances of the speech, instead of struggling just to get the basic idea. Right now we’re on Othello, which I’ve never read before. I used Sparknotes to summarize it for me, Kenneth Branagh’s movie so I had body language and verbal delivery to put it in context, and now I’m actually reading the play and have a pretty good idea what Shakespeare is saying. Other people would find this either a headache or overkill, but for me this is fun.

And now, in regards to cell phone texts ...Collapse )

11 comments|post comment

Enjoy your Flight to Middle Ea- I Mean, New Zealand [19 Jan 2015|09:47pm]
My friend hanarobi just posted this, and with her permission, I'm reposting it here.

Imagine being on a flight to New Zealand, and seeing this when they play the aircraft safety video! I'd imagine even passengers who weren't Lord of the Rings fans would get a kick out of this.

13 comments|post comment

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation [05 Jan 2015|01:29pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I’m sorry I haven’t been around online much this holiday season, but I guess you could say I had an eventful vacation. We drove up to Florida to visit our mothers for the holidays – and ended up leaving early just to get away from one of them.

tl;dr - MIL got so bad this time my husband finally told her offCollapse )

16 comments|post comment

Algebra [15 Dec 2014|03:54pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

After a semester of tearing my Afro out over quadratic functions, polynomials, theorems, logarithms, and matrices, not to mention boring my family and you all to death with never ending bitching about how I couldn’t do this … the final grade is in.

Warning: GIF Heavy ... is three heavy?Collapse )

19 comments|post comment

Hi, All. [14 Dec 2014|12:48pm]
My LJ account has gone back to a basic account, and I’m trying to find it within me to care. The credit card I have with them expired, so of course the attempt to charge it didn’t pan out, so my paid account has expired, too. But LJ has been screwing up so much lately I’m trying to remember why it’s worth my money. It looks like all my scrapbook pictures are still there, and it’s not like this lessens the amount of friends I can have or posts I can view. The only thing I’m missing is some of my more fun icons, and maybe later I’ll start to care about that, but right now it’s no big loss. I guess I’m just still pissy over LJ’s recent shutdowns. Between that and holiday expenses, it’s just bad timing for LJ to hit me up for money right now.

Well, finals week is over, and I’m starting to get my grades back. It looks like I’ll be getting a B+ in political science, and I surprised myself with an A in Spanish. Not only did I ace English, but my professor recommended me for a graduate study program. I wasn’t even thinking about going beyond a baccalaureate, because I don’t have the money (and I still don’t – it’s not like they offered me funding or anything). Still, it’s nice to know if I keep my grades up I very well could qualify for a department scholarship plus a teaching assistant position, and use the combined monies to go for a Master’s degree in Literature.

Only Algebra still taunts me, because the teacher hasn’t finished grading the final exams yet. I hope he takes his time, and gives me every scrap of extra and partial credit that he can. Everything on the final exam looked familiar, but that doesn’t mean I got the answers right. Still, all I need is a D to satisfy degree requirements.

I’m not sure I’ll know what to do with myself until the spring semester, even with a kid, a husband, and a house to look after. Of course, I do have quite a few fanfics to catch up on. :) Any recommendations? What have I missed since late August?
10 comments|post comment

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